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You remember "Rudebox" don't you? The Sly and Robbie-sampling banger that landed at No.4 in the UK charts like a bullet. The nimble little rocket that, "compared to Williams" other singles was considered a commercial disappointment. The cheekiest of the cheeky chappy's cheeky back catalogue. Of course you remember "Rudebox." For a decade now you've been doing the rudebox. You've been shaking your rudebox. You've been wondering what the fucking hell a rudebox is but been having too much fun sweating out on the dancefloor to care. "Rudebox" is inside you, deep, deep inside you. "Angels" is for funerals, "She's the One" for weddings, and "Rudebox" for every time you and the lads want to kick back with four to six cans of premium continental lager and a deep pan frozen pizza on a Friday night.


OK then back to baseheadsDance like you just won at the special OlympicsI got the rudebox off the back of a spaceshipSo sick I just had to take itThe R.U.D.E.B.O.XUp your jacksie, split your kecksSing a song to SemtexPocket full of Durex, body full of MandrexAre we gonna have sex? Will you wear your knee socks?Back to the rudebox

It doesn't matter that Robbie's ability to rap is on par with your dad's on Boxing Day after a crate of Spitfire and a mug of Cointreau. It doesn't matter that he sounds anesthetized on the chorus. Nor does it matter that it's aged about as well as a teabag left in the bottom of a sink. The fact that Robbie can't decide if he wants "rudebox" to be a noun or a verb? Doesn't matter either. It doesn't even matter that the song might actually be Robbie's ode to the humble vagina, and how he's going to "bump" it till the recipient of his rudebox-prodding "drops". Only Robbie could get away with a song about fucking someone till they literally die, till their body stiffens round the dampening remains of his electro-tinged stiffy. That's our Robbie!

Ok then back to basics grab your shell toes and yourFat lacesA little hand clap for some funk faces and make yourBody move in the following placesGoes up your back and then down your spine and when itHits your head...Ok then back to baseheads dance like you just won atThe special olympics i got the rudebox of the back ofA spaceship, so sick i just had to take it

The r.u.d.e.b.o.x. up yer jacksy, split yer kecks singA song of semtex, pocket full of durex body full ofMandrex. are we gonna have sex (yes) will you wearYour knee socks (ohh) back to the rudebox

Ok then what to do, if you try to jack me ill rudeboxYou, if you rudebox me ill rudebox your whole crew cosIts what i do aint that right boo - trueI'll ride with you if you can get me to the border cosThe sheriff's after me for what i did to his daughter.I did it like this - you did it like that - i love itWhen you double clap clapGrab this double fantasy where we just never stop, iveGot one design and that's to funk you to the top. knowWhats on my mind there's only one thing you will find,I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop

Ok then check the tan line, make your body shape likeYou're stood on a landmine call me on my mobile notThe landline and the jack the mainline at the sameTimeOk this is what we do, got a jam so fresh its nice forYouOk give it what you got and dial 808 for the bass toDropOk then whats the fracas grab your cardy your lead hatAnd your bus pass you don't sweat much for a fat lassGrab your rudebox cos your box is righteousOk bum rush the show i got high speed dubbing on myStereo and all the tunes in the box are the cherrio, iKnow i told you before, did you hear me though

Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nastyRudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nastyRudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nastyRudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nastyDo the rudebox, shake your rudebox (repeat to fade) 041b061a72


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